I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Someone came in the potted fern
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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