He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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