Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
