He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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