I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
just tell him i said nine months
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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