your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
