Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
