I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
