Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
