I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
