He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
