When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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