im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
