with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
