I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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