i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
