R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
