I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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