I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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