the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
