What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
