I skipped work to stalk him.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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