drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
