i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We're too hungover to prance.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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