He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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