he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
