ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
