dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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