Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just sent this text using only my big toe
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
