The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
