well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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