I just pynch a tree in the face
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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