If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
