Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Drunk is a universal language darling
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
