Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i think i have herpe
just one?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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