This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
