Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
