He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
