she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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