fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
