I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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