Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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