As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
