Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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