Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
