HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
