i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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