Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
