im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
