Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The Olympian is in my bed
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
