so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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