1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
