I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
